INVOKING SPIRITS

Next week I'm gonna disappear to well-deserved vacation on the mountains, so I'll be completely off-line. Quite looking forward to it. Lately I became maybe too addicted on being on-line and it seems that it sucks off more creativity and energy out of me than I first thought.

I found out that I have concentrated more on being on-line and taking care about the things around the band than on what's most important - music.
So I guess a week without being connected to the outer world won't do any harm. I am trying to invoke Jim Morrisson's spirit and dig the last drops of emotions from myself and save the last pieces of creativity.

I'd like to ignore all the trends (have we ever been trendy? I guess not - and that's why we're still not successful at all), but let's say - fuck it.
I don't care. I'm old enough to know that being successful is not just a result of creating a good music. And I even strongly doubt that my music is good. So far I would like to write a song that would somehow resonate in me and create the feeling I once had when writing Follow Me..or Ultraviolet. Maybe they aren't good songs, but they're special for me.

Let's not be too pesimistic. For myself, guys from the band, who rely on me and mainly for the fans/friends, who are not indifferent to what they are listening to, I'm writing my songs. Maybe I could write some piece of shit and we would have thousands of people in front of the stage, but I simply cannot write anything I wouldn't believe in. It wouldn't be true and people would easily recognize it and maybe we wouldn't even have thousands of them in front of the stage. And I would certainly lose the ones I do care the most.

Question of these days is: do I believe in something? Something I could write my songs about? I don't know, but perhaps I could write songs about how I search for something to believe. Or write a song about having nothing to write of. Anyway, I have plenty of glimpses made in my notebook, less or more interesting, but what I think I have lost, is the ability to put all the things together to make a good song. Well, let's say there wasn't much time to try and comparing to previous years I've had more time to live and enjoy life than just dreaming about it. Is the fact I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life the reason for not writing songs? I guess it's not. I thing I'm just lazy. Big time.

Enough of complaining. Because you read this, it's clear that I still haven't given up. And I hope we're gonna come up with something that wouldn't be just a few songs to calm down the company and promoter.

The songs will perhaps be about a desire. Or more precisely about desire to find a true desire.

Broken nails, the way I'm crawling up the wall into the light.

I really recommend an interview with Hana Hegerova in latest Reflex. It's a real inspiration.

Have a great time and merry xmas ;)

Thanx janne